I’m starting to fear what I might do just to keep this feeling of being alive going. Sure, just talking about it is working now but what about when it’s not enough. Will I continue to self harm? What about beyond that? That’s what I’m afraid of. I have the capabilities to do these things when I don’t want to and I’m afraid of the day where I stop restraining myself. God, I do really like dramatic stories but I have to realize that this isn’t a story. This is my fucking life.